Day 10 (Day 8 of Covid) High Anxiety
- mikepeters8
- Dec 11, 2020
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 26, 2020
Thursday 19th November
I post on Facebook
Day three in the danger zone.
I slept. I honest to goodness slept. Proper sleep. Maybe four or five hours. I wake feeling muzzy. Then with a start as I realise, I have relaxed my guard, where is the beast?
Breathing? Check seems good
Fever? No
No pains for a day now
Is this it? Have we won?
I shuffle to the bathroom my oxygen pipe tail dragging behind.
As I close the door, I feel him come "You sneaky bastard, Covid, really? Behind the door?" His fingers tighten at my throat, slip coldly into my chest, squeeze a little.
I shuffle back to my bed. A knock at the door. "Come in"
Enter a smile that no mask can hide. My defender, a truly beautiful lady, marvellous Momo, who has no fear. Our eyes meet, hers twinkle. We share our same early morning joke. We laugh. Covid retreats a little.
Bring on the day
I post on Facebook
Sunshine! I guess the sun is always shining somewhere!
To which the redoubtable Anne Fisher posts
“Open those curtains and window. Deep breaths of wonderful fresh air. It’s a glorious day. Hope you’re feeling a bit better xx”
And I reply
Anne Fisher yes sister! I'm not going to ignore advice from the best
Fatigue both physically and emotionally is beginning to tell, I have moments of feeling increasingly anxious, I wonder if I will ever be well again. I think morbid thoughts. The constant coughing is wearing me out and I can’t help feeling low.
Every breath is an effort and every effort makes me breathless. I find that I am moaning each time I breathe out. This is no good, I need to pick myself up. Then I remember I have something to look forward too at midday. Someone is going to sing a song for me.
Just before Christamas last year, I was shopping in Broadmead, I love the Christamas bustle and hustle and Broadmead draws a lot of people and a whole crowd of buskers. There are always a few and Bristol has some right good ‘uns. This morning was no exception, most perform covers but every now and then, you find a real treasure. This day I found Cara! She was a vision of loveliness, long dreads reaching past her waist, singing with a loud strong voice, playing a wicked rhythm on her black guitar and jumping up and down as she sang.
Brilliant! I watched her do two or three numbers and, in a break, wandered over for a chat. I bought two of her CD’s. She is great song writer, with excellent lyrics and plays beautifully and she has so much energy, all of it positive.
Throughout the Lockdown she has gone live at midday, every day on Facebook to bring cheer and positivity to all and today, at my request, she did this
Some people that you meet, you know are a positive force in life. These are the people that make a difference to the world around them, they are an agent for good. I am pleased to say that I have many such people in my life, now Cara is one of them too.
On Facebook I post from Laura’s FB profile She is a nurse on 26b and has an excellent sense of humour, we get on as soon as we meet
Shared from one of my defenders with her permission
I’ll be honest I’m scared stiff and feel sick to my stomach before every shift but have to get over it, got a job to do and people that need me so have to crack on and pluck up the courage. I absolutely love my job I went into nursing because it’s a natural talent of mine to care for people but this is a whole different ball game. I just hope one day it will be gone and we can carry on as normal but I can’t ever see this happening such sad times. It’s hard as well to try and keep the staff happy and motivated especially when you feel like crying yourself inside. It’s just unbelievably hard at the moment but we can and will get through this
Laura 26 b colleague, hero, friend
At two thirty that afternoon I post on Facebook
No Covid
Not my eyes, my beautiful eyes!
I am beginning to feel not quite so awful, the sweating has stopped, I have had dry sheets all morning, I am coughing less and I am aware of some significant change in how I feel, somehow more me.
I relax a bit and fall asleep. Properly asleep, so when after an hour or so my door opens, I am slow to find my wits.
A small man with dark, curly hair and a patchy beard is stood in the door way “Can I come in?” he asks
“Of course,” I reply, I shut my eyes to nod off, I think he has come to change the bins
“I am Pedro” he says “Your blood results are looking good, almost normal, your blood pressure has stayed down, your sats are staying up, I need to listen to your chest”
I sit up, he has a listen, “Good” he says “The lung fields are clear, you have a small remnant of pneumonia in the lower left lobe but otherwise it’s good news”
“I’m going to be ok? I have got through!” How I wish I didn’t sound so needy
“Yes” he smiles “you are going to be ok. If you stay like this over the weekend, you will be going home Monday
I ring Brumsky Beat at the sound of her voice I am speechless and all the emotion comes out, I am crying and laughing so that she can hardly hear my news. I am shaking all over like a wet puppy.
On Facebook I post
We've done it team; we have done it! Dr Pedro has given me the good news. I'm out of the critical zone, bloods are mostly normal, lung fields are clear, blood pressure is good. Sats maintained now on just one litre oxygen. I am crying tears of joy! Thank you, thank you, everybody. I am going to live!
This draws 333 comments, it takes me most of the day to respond to them all. People are so kind
My youngest sister Kath responds with an audio recording, she is out walking the dog , Mooch, she is on top of a hill in Scotland where she lives and she shouts her joy at my recovery from the top of the hill. At the top of her voice with the full force of her soul, it is a joyous sound.
I find I can relax, for the first time in over a week I sleep on and off through the evening and the night.
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